In September 2010, a bunch of us agreed to meet up at Gaga’s mountain hometown for a barbecue. After an epic gathering, this grand barbecue party officially kicked off. Everyone laughed, teased, and bantered the whole night through.
Afterward, I discovered that the shared ingredient prep sheet I originally created in Google Docs had been utterly hijacked by everyone. Because Google Docs allowed anonymous editing, things spiraled gloriously out of control. It is transcribed below to preserve the joyful memories of that unforgettable time.
Ingredient Quantity Person Responsible Notes
Good Sheep Fool 1 Yaya (blush) (Cooked by Jinliang)
T-Rex Sliced Meat 1 beast Handsome Chin
Sheep’s Tiny Thin Yellow Limp Sausage
A Certain Sheep Not sold anywhere; even 3D piranhas won’t eat it That’s just a movie~~ (smacks head)
Heartfelt Message Board Gout Chicken Wings
I Love Leia Sheepish Chicken Butt
If it’s A Certain Alien, it’s totally okay~ (blush)
Whoever deletes messages is a sissy King Kong Beef Short Ribs King Kong Cow(!??) (Like) (Like)
I Love.. Shy Clams 300 million
100 bucks each (how do we eat them if they don’t open?) (pry with a toothpick) Only got half a toothpick
I love my mom and my dad Cerebellar Atrophy Lobster
Gaga Can we swipe A Certain Sheep’s credit card? Contact Jinliang Lin. Yes you can.
Compal has so many babes +2 Cuttlefish (Squid)
I really love Leia Bloodletting Sheep Blood Cake 1 bucket Smoke
I really love.. Sheep Meatball / Squid Ball 4 pieces [4:50:01 PM] Sheep Professor~: Must be that Liang guy again Please fetch from A Certain Sheep on the day
Tofu filled with lots of air
Gaga
Heartfelt Gossip Board Your Teacher’s Tempura Fingers 9 fingers A Certain Sheep OK
Whoever gets their wedding ring caught is a sissy This isn’t heartfelt at all Let’s switch to the Gossip Board then Little Earthworms - 20 worms
Huang Yuchin OK (Gaga stop typing nonsense)
Whoever gets their wedding ring caught is a sissy This isn’t heartfelt at all Let’s switch to the Gossip Board then Sissy Bin’s Loofah Legs
A Certain Yue is ruthless; A Certain Sheep is weak Large Intestine Green Pepper
Out of jokes (so weak) You idiot, you even made a typo
Then… if the receipt gets caught, you’re… handsome A-Guan Mushroom 2 pieces (blush)
Do mushrooms come in “pieces”?
Whoever has motel receipts found behind their girlfriend’s back is… A Certain Sheep’s Onions
Smells terrible~(pinches nose)
Then the one who helped hide the ring is… A-Gaga Sweet Potato
Sounds delicious
Then the one who helped hide the ring, but ended up getting receipts caught instead, is… The corn A Certain Sheep ate yesterday
Stop talking about other people’s privacy! Foreigner Lettuce
Nobody is talking about privacy! A-Gaga Super Fragrant Foot Bamboo Shoots 2 stalks Ga Ga Ga Who’s eating this (A Certain Yue)
Sissy Bin Enoki Mushrooms 1 shred Liang Xiaobin Special effect: turn extra sissy after eating
Vedfolnir Commercial Break Gout Crystal Ice Cubes
Contributed by A Certain Sheep
A Certain Sheep Butter
Too gross, don’t want to use it
Shameless Sichuanese (pointing upward) (A Certain Sheep!!) Gaga Athlete’s Foot Powder
Gaga
Moldy Toast
Sheep brought it from home
Fruit - A Certain Sheep Pineapple Head
Sheep has so little hair, could never be a pineapple
Xiao-Hui said help her find pictures Fruit - A Certain Yue Watermelon Head 1/4 piece Handsome Chin
Is there money to be made? M-Brain-Damaged Black Tea 5 drops Sissy Bin I only have vomit
There is alcohol to drink! One Bucket of Boy’s Urine 1 cc Brother Wei…Brother Fan Who wrote Wei-ge = = Not me = = Then who was it…(this stuff is precious)
I Love a Stick of Wood (Chinese aphrodisiac) 1 G Dirty Sister Provided by the sissy probably
Honesty Lollipop
Crying Rong
Cocoon Sleeping Bag 100 PCS Brother Liang
Plastic Wrap Tent
Bone Dissolving Palm Manual
Xiao-Hui For attacking the sissy queen?
Straw Mat 1 roll Sister-in-law Fan For Brother Fan
Giant Vomit Bag 100,000 Liters Xiao-Hui Pack up Sissy Bin and dump him at the foot of the mountain
Rabbit Poop 1 day’s supply Gaga High in fiber! (Brother Liang is only eating this that day)
Xiao-Hui Automatic Drinking Machine 1 unit Gaga Does this all the time (dealing with kindergarteners is easy) Looked down upon again, stinky Xiao-Hui
Tathagata Palm Manual 1 book A Certain Liang Sissy holding LED in butt performing Tathagata Palm Is this edible? Entertainment show, you know
A-Gaga Drink Blocker Machine 1 unit A Certain Yue Is this edible?
Shameless Person 1 person A Certain Sheep Entertainment show, you know
A Certain Yue’s Yellowish Underwear 1 pair Sissy For Sissy Bin to wipe his mouth~ Too disgusting
Serious Candles 3 sticks Sissy The person bringing them isn’t serious at all
Cripple Leg Manual 1 book Fire Cloud Evil Deity Can watch William and A Certain Yue butt-squeeze LED showdown
Sissy Devil Fruit 2 pieces Buggy
HI, FRIEND. Lightning Devil Fruit 1 piece Whitebeard For Sissy Chin and Sissy Bin
Overlord Super Pervert 1 ray A Certain Sheep Zoro is learning swordsmanship from Hawkeye!
Too lazy to click it open A Certain Yue’s Year-End Bonus 3.3 months Handsome Chin Dead fat sheep (donate it as bonus money)
Stinky Sheep Overlord Lustful 1 ray Jinliang Lin
Yang Simin’s Golden Lotus (Jin Ping Mei) 1 set Ga Rated 18+ What do we need this for at a barbecue (I thought kids watch One Piece, adults watch xx) (Outdoor cinema)
Gold Medal Pretending to Be Heineken 1 crate A Certain Alien Only for Da-R to drink
Roast Suckling Pig 1 pig A Certain Yue
Barbecue Equipment Quantity Person Responsible Notes
Twenty Billion US Dollars 1 Jinliang Lin Give A Certain Sheep 5 dollars
Sparkling Bling 2 Handsome Chin, Sissy Bin
Naturally High BBQ Sauce 2
S-Binding Meat Grill Net 2 Sister Fan (since when am I on this list?) Hehe Probably written by A Certain Sheep (definitely A Certain Sheep)
Human BBQ Tongs 2 persons Sissy Bin, A Certain Yue
Wool BBQ Brush 3
Secretly Flirtatious Shacha Sauce 1
Bin-Is-So-Weak Fire Starters 1
Deadly Weapon 3000 Charcoal 5 A Certain Sheep
Morning Sickness Gas Stove 1 Your damn teacher
In-Heat Gas Canister 3
Invincible Wind-Fire Wheels 1 A-Gaga Brother Liang how do I prepare this (an electric fan) (Nothing I can do ~ shrugs) Is there air conditioning then?
Fire Turkey (Lighter) 1
Pot with Holes
Spoon
Sheep Brand Toothpicks Ultra-thin sticks Yaya OK
Sweat-Crystallized Salt
Aluminum Foil Butt Paper 300 rolls A-Gaga
Guan Dao (Giant Blade)
I only have a machete
Kinmen Knife
Ninja Concealed Weapons 2000 Little Tiger Who is Little Tiger (my dog) Can we catch your goose to roast? I want three-cup rabbit
Worn Disposable Underwear Front half A Certain Liang
Fork
Disposable LED Lights 300 pieces A Certain Sheep Yaya will perform LED butt clamp
Human Platter
A Certain Sheep Can we please not?
Dishwashing Liquid
Just buy disposable bowls
Anti-Sissy Liquid - Burbee 10 gallons A Certain Sheep Not enough!
Newspaper-Wrapped A Certain Yue (what is this for)
Alien
Facial Tissues
Paper Cups
Just use lotus leaves as cups
Camel Stomach - 2
Save one for me
Alpaca 1 animal A Certain Alien P.S. Gift for A Certain Sheep
OO 1 person A Certain I OK
PS3 + Four Wireless Controllers 1 console Handsome Chin P.S. Gift for A Certain Sheep
iPhone 4 + Lifetime Unlimited Wireless Internet 2 units Uncle Sam P.S. Gift for A Certain Sheep and Yaya
Citroën C2 1 car Liang Xiaobin P.S. Gift for A Certain Sheep
Bald Lightbulb 1 large bulb XX Very bright!
Super Stinky Flip-Flops Stinky-Foot Bin
Unwashed Stockings Worn by Sissy 1 piece William Wait till Brother Fan falls asleep… and stuff it up his butt!? (Uh…)
Butter Dog 1 dog
Silent Megaphone for A-Guan 1 unit A Certain Sheep There’s an echo in the mountains!
Well-Mannered Leather Whip 1 whip Sister Fan
Affectionate Handcuffs 1 pair Sister Fan
Expired Great Pill of Vitality Half a pill Long Jianfei What the hell is this!!
Panda Devil Fruit 1 piece Usopp For…
Campfire Wood 1 pile Brother Jinliang Let’s have a campfire party (Sure! Are there logs to pick up near Gaga’s house?) If not, let’s burn Sissy Bin Liang Xiaobin has nothing to burn (so sissy) There is wood to pick up~ go burn it across the road~ don’t burn it at my house! I’m gonna make your house more prosperous than Hongludi Temple!! (Ugh, just set up a grill)
Pervert Wolves 2 A Certain Sheep, A Certain Sheep
Pole Dance Pipe Half a pole Sister Fan
UFO 1 ship A Certain Alien Hi A Certain Alien Hi A Certain Alien
DV Camcorder and Props 1 set A Certain Sheep, A Certain Yue
Projector 1 unit A Certain Sheep Damn it, who are you (smoke)
Shower Head 1 piece
What’s this for (leaves a lot to imagination) (what kind of imagination?!
Must restore my house to its original state before leaving; 3,000 NTD deposit per person (gasp)
Uh, I was still thinking about what to type
Ingredient Quantity Person Responsible Notes
Bitterness - The Completely Abnormal Edition US Steak Meat 10 kg
Damn it!! Stop editing randomly~
Lamb Chops 20 ribs
Who wrote this, go catch them!! (Not me)
Commercial Break Fresh Shrimp 1 box
Who’s going to Keelung to buy them (order Black Cat Delivery!)
www.vedfolnir.com Enoki Mushrooms 2 packs
Shameless Guy Eggplant
For A Certain Sheep only I hate eggplant (Then Yaya take the rest home and cook it every day)
Popcorn
Handsome Works by a Certain Has-Been Photographer Mascarpone Cheese
Shameless Guy Tequila & Beer
No alcohol! (It’s a barbecue!!) What if a murder happens? (Uh, limit one crate per person) Who drinks tequila (Hey hey hey, it’s beer)
Wandering Photographer Black Pork 10 kg
Green Island Wild Goat Meat 10 kg
Shameless Panda Bermuda Sunfish 10 kg
Spiders 10 spiders A Certain Yue A-Gaga said he wants to eat / In your dreams! (You said it on Plurk!)
Portfolio of a Super Handsome Designer Meat
Shameless Guy Sliced Sheep Testicles 2 pieces A Certain Sheep, A Certain Sheep Let A Certain Alien slice it~~ Damn, what the hell is this Uh, just sheep testicles… doesn’t sound like enough to fill a tooth gap A Certain Alien forfeits (Then A Certain Alien is in charge of cooking)
Barbecue Equipment Quantity Person Responsible Notes
Aluminum Foil 1 roll
Dutch Oven
Barbecue Grill
Charcoal 5 bags
Coffee Beans 1 bag -Who are you? Note in top right corner (only one person logged in with Gmail) [1] What are coffee beans for? (Drink coffee while watching the stars) How do beans turn into coffee… (have Sheep’s butt crush them) Sheep’s butt has other things to do (blush) (A Certain Alien shouts)
chuning grinder and brewing kit
French Sea Salt
Portable Urination Bag 1 dozen A Certain Alien
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