The Three Things to Do in Japan This Spring for a Blissful Life: A Humorous Travel Reality Check

As April rolls in with warm breezes and blossoming petals, friends all around us are eagerly booking flights to experience the romantic springtime charm of Japan.

Recently, a satirical “must-do spring bucket list” has been circulating among travel groups, humorously titled “The Three Things You Must Do in Japan This Spring for a Completely Blissful Life”. The list sounds enchantingly poetic and profoundly ceremonial at first glance:

1. Admire the Golden Ginkgo in Hokkaido
2. View the Night Autumn Leaves in Kyoto
3. Rub Shoulders with “Sakura Girls” in Tokyo

When you first hear it, your romantic soul swoons at such dreamlike imagery… wait a second! Pause for three seconds, hook your rational brain back up, and look closely at what kind of absurd celestial blunders are actually taking place here!

Reality Check #1: Admiring Golden Ginkgo in Hokkaido

“Strolling beneath the golden canopy of the northern realm, feeling the romantic crunch of golden leaves blanketing the earth…”

Wake up! The world-famous golden ginkgo avenue at Hokkaido University is a strictly limited late-autumn phenomenon occurring from late October to early November!

If you rush to Hokkaido in the spring thaw of April, the branches of the ginkgo trees will hold at best a few shivering, microscopic green buds. As for a golden carpet on the ground? You will find only half-melted, grimy gray slush and mud puddles. Going to Hokkaido in April expecting golden ginkgo leaves will teach you nothing about a blissful life—only a profound appreciation for the cold, unforgiving harshness of mother nature!

Reality Check #2: Viewing Night Autumn Foliage in Kyoto

“Standing within thousand-year-old temples of the ancient capital, gazing upon ablaze crimson maple foliage illuminated by dramatic evening lanterns…”

Hold on! While the night light-ups at Eikan-do, Tofuku-ji, and Kiyomizu-dera are breathtakingly sublime, that is the special night viewing event strictly reserved for late autumn in November!

If you show up enthusiastically outside the gates of a Kyoto temple on a brisk April evening demanding to see “night autumn leaves,” you will look up into the branches and see only lush, vibrant green spring leaves (Aomomiji). Furthermore, the temple grounds aren’t even illuminated or open at night. You will end up shivering in your light spring jacket against the biting night wind, staring at bolted wooden temple gates, realizing that the only spiritual enlightenment you’ve attained is the profound Buddhist truth that “all worldly things are vanity.”

Reality Check #3: Rubbing Shoulders with “Sakura Girls” in Tokyo

Okay, the first two items mixed up seasons entirely. Surely the third one got the season right?

In April, Tokyo spots like the Meguro River, Ueno Park, and Shinjuku Gyoen are indeed in the glorious throes of peak cherry blossom season. The original, dignified plan was an elegant stroll to “admire the cherry blossoms” (賞櫻花). But the moment you set foot in Tokyo’s central parks during peak bloom, brutal reality crashes down:

Looking across the canal or walking paths, you can barely glimpse any individual cherry blossoms because your entire field of vision is a dense, suffocating sea of black heads and camera lenses. Packed shoulder-to-shoulder in the immovable pedestrian gridlock, you find yourself squeezed tight against crowds of dressed-up Japanese young ladies (“sakura girls”) and hordes of international tourists.

Thus, an aspirational cultural pilgrimage originally intended to soothe the soul transforms—through viral internet wordplay and ruthless crowd physics—from an elegant “blossom-viewing trip” into the literal, chaotic physical reality of “being crushed into sakura girls in Tokyo”… (Officer, yes, this person right here!)

Conclusion

While this viral travel joke elicits knowing chuckles among seasoned wanderers, it serves as a gentle seasonal reminder for anyone planning an independent journey to Japan:

• Spring (March–April): Stick obediently to Honshu and Kyushu for delicate, pastel-pink cherry blossoms.
• Autumn (October–November): That is when you visit Hokkaido to crunch through golden ginkgo carpets, and line up at Kyoto temples to view incandescent crimson night foliage.
• As for the advanced life trial of navigating packed crowds in Tokyo… for personal safety, basic manners, and social harmony, keep a polite distance and keep your camera lens pointed firmly up at the trees!